Donald “Lame Duck Candidate” Trump

Yes, this time it’s real – Donald Trump is running for President.

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So what can a mouthy real estate mogul bring to the Oval Office you ask?

1. A knack for speaking in third person. Straight from his speech :

“Nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump. Nobody.”

“Now, our country needs — our country needs a truly great leader, and we need a truly great leader now. We need a leader that wrote The Art of the Deal.”

2. Foreign policy expertise. ISIS, Mexico, whatever it is – a TV star has foreign policy experience. How else would he deal so effortlessly with his staff?

Apparently, he has a fool proof way to eradicate ISIS but won’t tell. This works because we should elect someone based on their ability to keep their mouth shut, not on their diplomacy skills.

On Mexico, he believes Mexico should built a giant wall to keep “drugs, criminals, and rapists” out of America.

And this – “I beat China all the time. All the time.”

3. He’s really good at talking about himself.  We all know about his success on The Apprentice, and his ability to make a really good hotel.

“I have so many websites, I have them all over the place”

Oh, and he can bring really great hair to the table. Obama has been holding out on us for the past 7 years.

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