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Why Rand Paul is Pinocchio

Really, his name is way to close to Ron Paul.

Rand is pretty much Ron’s last ditch attempt to presidency. Ron has ran 3 times for president, and is now looking to be a professional puppeteer.

First, he LOOKS like a really creepy Pinocchio with a Jewfro. Second, he’s got daddy pulling strings all day.

Rand truly is modern day Pinocchio.

Ron and Rand (this can get confusing) are essentially hardcore constitution lovers.



1. Taxation (or lack of) for the nation. Ron gained publicity from his extremely consistent voting record on taxes. Seriously, out of his billion years in Congress, he never voted to raise taxes under ANY circumstance. Kids out of education, hurricanes ruining communities, inflation, war, NOPE NO TAXES.

Rand came out advocating for a flat rate tax of 17% as a part of his presidential platform. Arguably, this is the reason for his popularity. Keep in mind, the 17% rate would CUT government revenue by $700 billion. (CNN Money)

Is frugality genetic?

2. Patriot Act and privacy. Ron went totally anti-Republican in 2001 and voted against the Patriot Act, and has been fighting it ever since, deeming the act as unconstitutional and an act of government abuse.

Rand follows daddy here, positioning himself against government surveillance and the Patriot Act, gaining lots of hate mail from his home team of the Republican party.

Really, you can’t blame them on this. Mass government records of sexting is just weird.

3. Anti – government establishments. This goes hand in and with their hate for the IRS. No government organizations, no need for taxes.

Ron has been going HAM on government organizations for years.

The decreased revenue from Rand’s flat tax plan mentioned above would result in privatization of SSI and Medicare, cut Medicaid, and my favorite, elimination of the Department of Education. SURE, that will help the country.

4. The whole doctor gig. Eye of the tiger? Rand IS an OPHTHALMOLOGIST after all.

And daddy? He’s an OBGYN.

To push the metaphor further, he could even be a liar, because he goes back and forth on the term libertarian often.

I just can’t vouch for the growing nose part…but we are in the age of Bruce Jenner, so who knows for sure…


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